"Seduction and Snacks"
By: Tara Sivec
Synopsis from Goodreads
Claire is a twenty-something, single mom that grudgingly helps her best friend sell sex toys while she attempts to make enough money to start her own business to give her foul-mouthed, but extremely loveable (when he's asleep) toddler a better life.
When Carter, the one-night-stand from her past that changed her life forever, shows up in her hometown bar without any recollection of her besides her unique chocolate scent, Claire will make it a point that he remembers her this time.
With Carter's undisguised shock at suddenly finding out he has a four-year-old son and Claire's panic that her stretch marks and slim to none bedroom experience will send the man of her dreams heading for the hills, the pair will do whatever they can to get their happily ever after.My Thoughts
I am so totally prepared to be boo’d right now, but I just don’t get the appeal of “Seduction and Snacks.” I picked it up on a Monday to read with the Smut Monday book club that is on Goodreads. Everyone on the group was loving the book, so I thought I had better pick it up and try it out too. With 100+ five star reviews and nothing below a three, I figured this was destined to quickly become one of my favorites.
Maybe it was because I was expecting alot but this is easily one of the worst books I have read this year. I’m going to start off saying I didn’t quit this book because I kept expecting it to get better, so I kept reading and reading. I NEVER do that but I did with this one, trying to figure out the appeal.
Claire is a single 20-something mother raising her son all alone. She got drunk at a frat party in college, got pretty friendly, and 9 months later is raising her son Gavin, all by herself. Her dad helps at times but mostly it is Claire striking out on her own.
Enter the absentee father, Conor. He doesn’t remember Claire’s face, he didn’t get her name that fateful night, but he remembers her smell. He’s been searching for her smell for five years and finally finds “that smell” in a bar one night when he is once again, drunk. Cue violins and instant harmonies as these two magically want to be with one another again and everything is forgiven. You don’t remember me except for my smell? That’s ok, because I didn’t even get your name when I took off my pants.
Really? REALLY? Ugh. Beyond being completely corny and so over the top sometimes it made me want to scratch my eyes out, Gavin and Claire were two terrible characters. When they weren’t whining about how hard their lives were, they were whining that people didn’t truly understand them. Their friends are morons and total caricatures of a "type" instead of being their own person.
Another thing that really bothered me was the first person narrative carried throughout the story. Claire and Conor both tell the story with I and me’s thrown in there, EVERYWHERE. Think that gets confusing? It totally does and I would find myself flipping to the next page because I didn’t care enough to actually figure out who was talking.
Finally, the rudeness and crudity of the story can not be overlooked. Lots of reviews rate these as funny and trust me, some of them did make me giggle. Yet, just as in real life, I’m not going around throwing these words out EVEYR SINGLE SENTENCE even with my closest friends. I’m not saying the cursing bothered me, I’m saying it was way too over the top and people just don’t talk that crudely to one another, all the stinkin' time. It made me just roll my eyes as I passed over another penis reference or yet another tired nickname. It took away from the story really, and I didn’t think it was cute or enjoyable at all. Enjoy these gems scattered throughout the story...
“Bad boys, bad boys, whatcha gonna do, watcha gonna do when they cut your wiener,” Gavin sang as he pointed his gun at random objects.
“I remember that night fondly. And by fondly, I mean with bitter resentment toward all things alcoholic and with a penis.”
“Oh my God, I sent a picture of my boobs to Jim," I moaned as a fresh wave of nausea rolled through me.
"You also threw up in the emergency room parking lot, called Drew and told him you were the Donkey Punch Queen and filled out a Last Will and Testament on a Burger King napkin and then asked the drive-thru worker to notarize it.”“Seduction and Snacks” was going to be my funny book of the year but sadly disappointed me. I finished it but am a little grumpy at myself for even taking the time. The story lacked substance for me, the language confused and disgruntled me, and the characters were flat and caricatures of what the author thought they should be. There are very few books that I truly didn’t like and this falls into that category unfortunately.
Date of Publication: June 11, 2012
# of Pages: 286